Fear, Showing Up & The Path Forward

Some ramblings from my journal writing about fear, showing up and the path forward:

My world is open to me and I do not need to be afraid. We are all loved by god (or goddess or all that is) and seen by god in truth. I feel this when I sit here alone, yet I get pulled down when I am with other people. I get scared and small. I see this now.

Can I be with other people without going smaller or needing to be set apart? Yes, of course I can. My practice is this: My learning is this:

You are divine, you are free. You can see all that is and this is beautiful, because it is. It is. That is the way of the world. We just are, we don’t need to stop, we don’t need to think, we need to be and be wise.

“How?”, is what you keep asking, “Give me a path and show me the way”.

I can only show you the path when your eyes are open. It is like a child or a teenager, really. They are in their world and you can see a clear way for them to get what they want and be their full self, yet they won’t listen to you fully. They can’t hear you fully because they must see it for themselves. They must decide to open their eyes and then they must decide to step forward.

Each step forward is their path. Whether it feels right or wrong to you. Each step forward is their path because it is. It is the only way, because it is the only path. They will make choices and they will be ok, because they have to be. This does not mean there won’t be pain. This does not mean there won’t be sorrow. This is life, this is the way it is. We are not here to teach that it is all good. We are here to teach that it is. This is the message.

Can you relax into that feeling? Can you sense how freeing this is? You don’t need to stop. No, in fact you need to keep taking steps forward, but listen to yourself and your knowing as much as possible.

Paul Selig says fear is the thing we don’t want to make decisions out of. Yet, is there some nuance? Fear is a marker, but sometimes you need to be afraid. Is the challenge in the fear of looking back or failing or being wrong? I think when it is fear of or for other people, that is the challenge. Fear that they will be hurt or upset or in pain. Fear they will hurt me or upset me or harm me. Perhaps this is the fear that is unwise. This is the fear that decisions should not spring from. Well, at least helpful decisions.

If you are fearful of others how can that be, if they are all of god? If they are all divine? Something is here to keep exploring. Something is here. If I’m scared to show up, what is that? That is my fear and the fear of what people will say.

I feel like I’m taking my religions, my meditation and my therapy and syncing it all together and understanding what it means to be free, to be loved and to love. I hear myself saying, “don’t get too big for your britches. You aren’t all that”. Hey, guess what? I am all that. I am perfect. I am not aware always, yet I am free, I am loved, I am love. I see how a piece of my darkness is this talk that I am not divine. Who are you to tell me that? I am love. I am loved. I am free.

Today I practice. I practice ‘truthing’ myself before I start something that scares me and truthing those around me when I feel the darkness seep into my vision. I am free, I am free, I am free. What an honor.

What a joy.

We are all ok.