Thank God She’s Finally Here

I’ve been struggling with how to write this post, as it is almost like describing a dream. There are many pieces that jumped out at me and might require some explanation. I’m experimenting with different ways to distinguish between Kate’s words and my initial reactions. Let me know if you have any better ideas!

When I finished my first session with Kate, she got me some tea and shared what she saw when she was working with me. Remember, my intentions this session were to find clarity on my path, especially for work, and get in touch with my knowing/intuition. I had also been feeling very separate and disconnected. This is what she shared.

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The first thing that came through to Kate was my maternal grandmother saying, “Thank God she’s finally here”.

I was encircled by tiny, bright light-beings with wings. There were also some larger light beings and some maternal women around me. An angelic-type was there to help out. She was very tall, long and feminine, wearing long robes and walking alongside me. These were my guides for the session.

My grandmother was at my feet. She clearly and loudly made it known that she was from my maternal side, and was very glad that I was there. There was a thread of guilt and shame wrapping around my family line on that side and she was working on this.

Sidenote: This was a surprise and I questioned Kate about it being my maternal, not paternal grandmother. My mother and grandmother cut ties when I was about 8 years old and I never saw her after that. In fact, I thought she was dead and didn’t learn that she didn’t pass away for at least ten more years until I was an adult. My mom never shared the story of what happened to cause the break, yet I knew their relationship was seemingly always strained.

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I was in a boat on an ocean in a sea that was initially threatening and grey, yet felt very expansive. As I sat in the boat, the water drained down to the ocean floor. When it was all gone, a path on the sea bed became illuminated so I could see it. The water then started filling up again, yet I had made a mental note of it. Now, even though I may feel like I am off the path and being tossed around in the sea, I have an internal map to which I am still connected.

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After this, Kate was immediately pulled down to my third chakra, the solar plexus or place of power, independence and strength. She saw me doubled over, in gut wrenching pain. I was screaming at times. There was a big experience happening in this part of me. She did Reiki here and used a selenite sword to clear and heal what was coming through.

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Kate was then pulled up to my heart chakra, yet was having a hard time getting into the space. The image she saw was that she needed to use a big, heavy equipment drill to pierce the area and get to my heart space. She was concerned that this was too powerful, so checked in with my higher self energetically to see if this was the right thing and was told ‘yes’. She used this massive tool and drilled into my heart area. When she finally broke through, it opened up and the area became expansive. The space was cleared to receive a lot more compassion, light and love.

All of the earth and debris that came out from the drilling was collected by my guides.

My guides also set a bucket next to me so I could release my tears. I cried and the tears poured out and filled the bucket.

Meanwhile, my higher self showed everyone a bunch of giant, heirloom seeds that she had been collecting. The seeds felt like they had been saved over multi-generations and like they would produce flowers, almost like dahlias.

All of the gathered material - earth and debris, tears and seed, were transmuted and used to plant a garden filled with these seeds of truth.

The message was that things will grow from this garden at the right time in my life and present to me as a gift, and I will recognize them as such. Because they are the seeds of truth, the gifts from the garden might not be the easiest to receive, but will be available for me to advance and move through something that's been holding me back.

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There was a lot of static and noise, which made it hard at one point for Kate to get a lead into something. She had an image of a broken antenna on an old radio. My team of guides went to work on the radio and my higher self was fixing it so we could receive. She would turn the dial to get a line in, like tuning a radio, and this directed Kate where to go.

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Sidenote: Kate then tuned into a past life. As she describes it, whether you believe in past lives or not, these stories can be useful to help understand and explore different parts of your life and the way you show up in the world. Just a note that my maternal grandmother’s family is originally from Eastern Europe.

The past life exploration began on another body of water, specifically a dark river in what felt like Eastern Europe in the 1500’s. My husband had been killed in a battle and I was fleeing down the river at night with my baby. I successfully got somewhere else and created a new life in this community and raised my daughter here. My lingering fear made me constantly watchful and extra protective of my daughter, even though she wasn’t aware of the situation. One day I saw some people from my old town and was very concerned. Even though I was older and they would never recognize me or my daughter, the shock of seeing them caused a heart attack or something in me and I died. Kate did a healing on that part of my soul and let me know if there was anything unhelpful that I’m trying to work through about my daughter and protection, I should have more clarity and peace.

Sidenote: At the time of this session, my youngest daughter had recently been diagnosed with OCD. I was learning a lot about the disorder and how we needed to shift our parenting style to help her learn the skills she needed to combat the OCD. Not that we caused it, yet reducing family accommodations and reassurance are critical factors in successful treatment outcomes. I was struggling with how to parent her without feeding the anxiety.

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Kate checked in about my feeling of separateness and disconnection. She was shown an image of old, crusty barnacles all around my body. She asked what to do and was told to detach them. She did this and then put a protective white bubble barrier around me. When the barnacles were released, a bunch of little, white filaments of light and connection began to unfurl out to reach and seek higher connections. The message was to allow myself to stay open to genuine connections and perceive relationships with curiosity. I should know that if something doesn’t feel right, I easily can move to something else.

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There was a tall, shadowy figure that felt male. Throughout the session, Kate was providing distance between me and this figure. There was a sense that it was connected to my 3 year old self, but she doesn’t know who it was. Once she did a soul retrieval, the figure went away.

Sidenote: What is a soul retrieval? The idea in shamanic practices around soul retrieval (which relates to western psychology, as well) is that when you have an experience of trauma in your life - and it doesn’t have to be ‘capital T trauma’ - a part of you stays stuck in that time frame. A soul retrieval goes to the part of you that is stuck in that time, at that age, and helps you come back and reintegrate with yourself in this time. To do this, the healer does what is called a shamanic journey. She gets the team of helpers/guides and they journey together to find that piece of me. To connect they usually talk to the person, yet with someone very young they give them a gift and show themselves as non threatening. They then bring that part of the self back.

While Kate usually waits until the end of a session to do a soul retrieval, my missing three year old came up early and so she did it then. She and the guides journeyed by flying to look for that part of me. She said it felt like my three year old self had been wandering off when they found her. One of the guides with Kate gave her a shiny golden ball as a gift. They then all journeyed back together and reintegrated her into me.

Sidenote: What Kate tells people when soul retrievals come up is to take some real tender time in the next 48-72 hours to welcome that part of you back. Imagine what you would do at that stage in your life. For example, as a three year old I might wiggle, dance, or do something silly and young. Take real tender time to welcome that part back in. imagine what you’d do as a three year old. By giving an intentional acknowledgement, you help solidify the return.

New Practices

Two strong words came through for my path forward: writer and leader. Kate suggested I allow space for writing without an agenda and see what happens. She also encouraged me to stay open as I am stepping into my own wisdom and try not to be too much in my head. When I’m open to possibilities and potential, things will start to come to me. For example, I may suddenly get an idea or feel like I need to connect with someone. When I get these hits of wisdom, I should follow them.

She also encouraged me to practice listening to my innate, gut impulses as I learn how to trust myself more readily. If something happens that I want to see more of, something I’m cultivating or developing internally, she suggested I say the phrase, “thank you, show me more”. Kate calls these intuitive hits; for example when you think about something and it happens, or it seems the right people are coming into your life at the right time. These are times to practice trusting your awareness. Use the phrase for whatever is resonating and stirring my soul.

When you stop receiving the work and leave a session, it is not over. The shifts and changes are still happening within, for a period of time. Kate encouraged me to drink lots of water (especially with fresh citrus), get proper sleep, take a bath with epsom salts, and nurture myself.

Initial Feelings

• Floored at how much resonated with me and how touched I was by the stories.

• My grandmother saying “Thank God she’s finally here” made me cry deep inside.

• Tired, headache, backache, teary, bewildered, curious, alive, tender, leery.

Themes that will continue

• Antennas/tuning in

• Water

• Maternal line